the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
