It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
