I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Randomize
