I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
