we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
