Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
