Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
