Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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