i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
