i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
