even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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