I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
