fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
