Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
