There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just invented taco cereal.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
