I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
