I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
