Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
