No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
