we have pet lesbian snakes
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
