Quick, to the slutcave!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
