You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
