why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
