I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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