I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
