Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
