You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
