if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
thus making me awesome and them whores
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
