this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize