you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
