im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
