the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
