When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
