My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
