I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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