I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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