And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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