What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Please don't give away my fajitas
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
