he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
