Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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