that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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