It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her vagine was all disorganized.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
