I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
