Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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