I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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