Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
