Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
