dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
