Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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