Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
