and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
