U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
