I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
